ya its true, i'm mostly softcore, subtle energies get me hot, it is harder to keep from cumming with clothes on than it is with clothes off. hardcore is good with el dakini. he could drag me by the hair across gravel, rip me oriface to oriface, and i would melt and scream in ecstasy at his grace, his wrath, and his mercy. why the fuck is that? well it all ended too abruptly. we are reserved and careful now, plagued by circumstance...afraid of cameras, taboos, nuclear fallout, what it would be like to go over the edge that we (or me or we) once got close to in a forbidden and distant dream.
i promised to be good. it will be losar in 4 days. i've made and cancelled a zillion plans. i won't be hopping on a plane for oddiyana. i won't be checking into a psych ward. the exalted will not appear to claim the heart of the fallen and deliver my fate.
i want to dance slowly, be held tightly, close my eyes, and lose touch with reality briefly. i remembered how to forget for a moment the other night. pure grace.